Staring, staring, staring

Life in China includes getting stared at a lot. It's not so bad for me . . . I have dark brown/black hair and I blend in somewhat. However, it's obvious that I'm not Chinese, so I can "stand out in a crowd" . . . just not as much as my blond-haired, blue-eyed friends!

Someone asked me for coping mechanisms for dealing with the staring. This is what I came up with:

1. It's not personal. You are not being stared at because of who you are as an individual, but because you are a foreigner.
2. The best response is to simply smile and keep going. Do not engage in a "Stare-Down" contest. Not only will you lose this contest, but you will find that this plants seeds of "returning like-for-like." Staring is culturally acceptable here. Develop a thick skin and accept it as much of a part of life as breathing.
3. Learn simple greetings. "Nin hao" for the elderly; "Ni hao" for most other ages; "Xiao pengyou hao" for children. Learn how to compliment babies and small children. (Ta shi ke ai de hen -- He/she is very cute!)
4. Staring is much worse in public bathrooms with no divider walls. Adopt an adage of "If they see something they haven't seen before, then they won't know what it is." Do your business and leave. No smiles necessary. :)
5. You cannot control the actions of other people. However, you can control your reaction to them.

I like the last one best. I have absolutely no control over what other people do. However, I do have control over how I respond to them.

Now, stop staring at me! :)

I lost my yak!

I haven't started teaching yet . . . I have another ten days to go. However, my Tibetan students (who are not really my students, but undergrads who regularly come to my office hours) called me and asked if we could get together on Tuesday. Of course I said yes!

While discussing summer events and while answering the question, "Did anything exciting happen this summer?", the response, "I lost my yak," came up.

I couldn't help it . . . I howled with laughter! This is just not something you would hear someone in the United States say!

Here's the whole story. One gal, Ronnie, taught for three weeks in a summer camp program. While she came to my office hours quite frequently, I can't say that I ever heard her speak much English. However, she lived with an American girl during this three week camp and it was either sink or swim . . . speak English with her roommate or not communicate. Her English flourished during this time and when she met in my office, she almost couldn't stop talking!

But I digress . . . back to the yak. After the camp, she joined her nomadic parents (Yes, most of my Tibetan students come from nomad families) and helped them out. She was sent out to herd yak one foggy morning. While she could see the yak directly in front of her, she couldn't see the entire herd. By the time the sun burned the fog off, it was discovered that she lost 40 head! There are only 130 yak in the herd to begin with so this was a significant number. Her family laughed at her and called her a "city girl." After lunch, the men went out on horseback and all 40 yak were found.

Not only was I amazed at the story, I was amazed at her ability to tell the story. She has improved a thousand-fold. She had all the inflections down and she told punchlines at the right places. I so loved her story and I can appreciate the stress she felt at the time.

I lost my yak. Indeed!