Staring, staring, staring

Life in China includes getting stared at a lot. It's not so bad for me . . . I have dark brown/black hair and I blend in somewhat. However, it's obvious that I'm not Chinese, so I can "stand out in a crowd" . . . just not as much as my blond-haired, blue-eyed friends!

Someone asked me for coping mechanisms for dealing with the staring. This is what I came up with:

1. It's not personal. You are not being stared at because of who you are as an individual, but because you are a foreigner.
2. The best response is to simply smile and keep going. Do not engage in a "Stare-Down" contest. Not only will you lose this contest, but you will find that this plants seeds of "returning like-for-like." Staring is culturally acceptable here. Develop a thick skin and accept it as much of a part of life as breathing.
3. Learn simple greetings. "Nin hao" for the elderly; "Ni hao" for most other ages; "Xiao pengyou hao" for children. Learn how to compliment babies and small children. (Ta shi ke ai de hen -- He/she is very cute!)
4. Staring is much worse in public bathrooms with no divider walls. Adopt an adage of "If they see something they haven't seen before, then they won't know what it is." Do your business and leave. No smiles necessary. :)
5. You cannot control the actions of other people. However, you can control your reaction to them.

I like the last one best. I have absolutely no control over what other people do. However, I do have control over how I respond to them.

Now, stop staring at me! :)